you open up my walk path without doubt,
you brings light brighter than sunshine i ever seen,
you spark passion i never felt,
you heat my coffee like no one else did,
you shade me with your great wing dearly,
you shower me with dreams endlessly,
you fear my tears away,
you embroid each of my minutes with candy,
you should have be the one, and only,

but i was loaded with histories, memories and miseries,

i has grey cloud histories,
i has tanggled memories,
i has mysteries in miseries,
i has unhealable broken spirit,
i has miscursed soul,
i has fumed dignity,

as if i wasn't been that,
as if i wasn't knowing him,
as if i wasn't pay a trust,
as if i wasn't dedicate my love.

Was there a point to stay under one roof with noise that causes cracklines ?
I rather avoid and escape. I named this fear from past. I sacrifice my study to show it once, proven it worth nothing. this is when destiny overule love, and eventually create a strong bonding between the portion of love, trust, and sacrifices with stupidility, idiotic and sarcasticism. Perhaps, one day, he show up and bring my trust again, bringing me an Elixir to revive my spirit and to ensure me what i did still worth.
What i have might not be too much for many, but could be too much for some. Atleast i know till today, it is nothing to him.

You are one good select. You shouldn't relevant to my diary. I am no longer available for any for I never want to take a chance to be hurt as before and never i allow myself to have a chance to revenge on you, maybe to some other, but not you.

Just leave me alone. Only lonelliness pairs up.

*dear donkey, you are the only reason i still feel little hope and lucky. I miss you and great trip ahead.