I think for the past few weeks we has been hanging too much at KLFC. I feel terribly sick with the annoying noise there.

I had a weird dream again. I saw him at the clubhouse car-parking compound motionless waving for help. The last I saw him walking away with a smile full of hope for harmonious light. This time, the sky really cloudy and his surrounding is too silence for him. He tries so hard crawling helplessly as if he is trying to escape from something everyone can't see. I have no clue how I should approach him to wipe his blood from his eyes. Seem like he too motionless to determine what next he should do with his remaining energy. Just motionless and just let the navigator driving his body in a path which he is too lazy to organize anymore. Also, I see myself there waiting like a stupid clown ready to help, but, then again, something act as a barrier that against my will.

I went to L last night. That place play too much super music that I might like it in my room when I am alone, not in a public party place like this. It was super crowded and full of ...(combo of funkies/rockies/rempities/alternative-kies wannabe). I believe someone I know will love this place. I believe that person I know will dance like nuts if happen to visit this club. I left my cam at home so didn't manage to snap some pic.

I am feeling really down at work. I wanna stop work right now. In the past, it will be my dream when I see my superior having me and another few as his asst. I thought, by having a few cow and horses working under your management will be fun and challenging. However, recently, my position really makes me feel sick/ill/dying/dreadful/pityfull/stressfull/brwonfull/greyfool). At certain point of view, when you are at some lower management position, people see it as you have less work and thing should be easier because all you need to do is some verification and recommendation or some endorsement task. However, there is one typical common overlook matter at this matter is the Commitment of it. Every signatory has it price and value, hence, every time I penned down my signature/initial, I really made a deep consideration. Anyshit, I will the first to be cooked. Aside from that, I tried being as friendly as possible will my subordinate, (through my encounters with my past experience with my head-if works well for us), yet, they might have misunderstood that I am just being another useless-bimbo sitting down there waiting to sign every document they put in my tray and my task is just to make sure each document won't be stacking there pending for too long. Very wrong conception wey..
When I try not to be friendly, those older bastard bitch who has more experience and has higher qualification who works under me will definitely make my life difficult by at least stabbing me with harsh teases. I am feeling so grey at work now. All I want is my own work station that consist only task that need my own workout. I don't need asst. I hate monitoring others. I hate giving false year end appraisal to promote bad asst and to avoid being named the snobbish-young-under-experience-superior. I knew this day will happen because I was once a junior that heard my workmate cursing my head/superior at times. I need a new job.

Or am I actually have nothing else to complain or nothing else to be taken into account as excuses for me to stop working? I hate to work. I hate to have routine daily. I hate life. I hate too many things. I hate pretending as if I am so happy. I hate thing that comes easily to me. I hate whatever that comes along... I just hate my life.

I hate Ah-Lian that bitches too much. I hate ah-lian that eats food for the prices and popularity ( bithches never know the right way to enjoy real food). I hate overdressed women. I hate uncivilized lady that speak like an idiot. They make me feel ashamed as a woman on this earth. I am part of every bit, except for overdress-I just too oversize for much dress ( otherwise i will be a tastefully overdressed Ah-Lian too), I am an Ah-Lian that has an opportunity at career that most Ah-Lian can't even achieve when they are 40 years old and work so hard for it, I am an ahlian that been shower with cuisines luxuries that most people around the region can't even differ Sawi or KangKung-Kahlua and baileys-Thyme and mixherbs- french or itallian-latte and flatwhite - bistro and cafe - german and brazillian - korean and taiwanesse - *worst ---- kobe beef and ribeye or clam and albolone or Mediterranean and western, I am the ahlian with super ahlian mouth that have bit of everything to bithc about and has moody next-door ah-sum mouth to speech at a dining table for twenty, I am the ahlian that love donkeys/cats/maple leaf, I am the ahlian who are so obsess with perfumes and aromatic shits. At this moment, I am just another Ah-Lian that has nothing better to do and spending sometime thinking about an Ah-Lian I met the other day. No jokes, this Ah-Lian really makes me feel I am the champion of all Ah-Lian.
Arghhhhh I don't really know what is in my mind now that makes me typing all this idiotic shits.

What's makes an Ah-Lian that fuck so hard to compromise with some Ah-Lian shits? Ah-Lian fucks as much to sooth the volume of hatred she had.